we rise by lifting others up

When you hear the phrase “We rise by lifting others up”, it is a very positive feeling that you get! Unfortunately, more times than not, it feels like this world can be quite self-centered in general where everyone is only thinking about their own best interests instead of others. “We rise by lifting others up” needs to not only be said more often, but also implemented daily in order to make a big and lasting impact.

Self-centeredness is to be expected in children who are under the age of 8 or 9, according to BabyCenter, because they don’t have the cognitive ability to truly understand the complex concepts of empathy. Although, concepts of compassion and empathy can always be taught to younger kids. The one thing parents want more than anything is for their kids to think beyond their own needs, put themselves in other people’s shoes, and be more compassionate and empathetic towards those around them. I know that is what I want as a parent!

Empathy is a crucial trait for anyone to have because everyone goes through difficult times where they need love and compassion. Another reason why empathy is so important is that it is such a critical part of teamwork and community. If you want your group to succeed, you must know how to put yourself in the shoes of others!

I recently experienced an opportunity to teach my 6 yr old son, not only how to be empathetic, but also value teamwork. He just recently finished his 2nd season of soccer. There was one game in particular in which he missed 2 goals that put him in a bad mood. He kept moping around on the field, and it was upsetting to me that he was only thinking of himself and how upset he was feeling. Though, because he is only 6, I also understand that the concept of true empathy is still complex to him. But it is never too early to introduce the importance of it.

Therefore, when he came for his first water break, I tried to get him to stop feeling so sorry for himself by giving him words of encouragement. It didn’t really make that much of a difference because, although he kept playing, he scowled the entire time. I realized then that I needed to find a more effective way to help him understand that he was not the only one in the world that mattered and had needs.

So, on his next water break, I told him that he needed to support the team and that it wasn’t just about him. That is when I explained the importance of teamwork! Thankfully it seemed to get through to him! Not only was he more involved in the game, but he became a supportive teammate! He passed the ball more and cheered on the other players when they scored. In his league they “don’t keep score”, but the kids and parents can’t help themselves, and to our delight in the end, his team did score more goals. It occurred to me later what a wonderful life lesson was learned in that one soccer match.

We rise by lifting others up” is also a great way to start our blog because our goal is to share the same kind of encouragement for parents in our blog posts. I always liked the saying “It takes a village.” And it is great that technology can help us parents create such a supportive village. And you know what? I feel if we can all work together and encourage one another in instilling positivity and resiliency into our children, we’ll succeed in teaching them to bring positivity to others. Think about that for a moment the next time there is an urge to judge another mom or dad!

Hey, we all have been guilty of doing it so I am not pointing fingers at anyone! And unless you see a parent being neglectful like leaving a baby in the car alone, then never judge another. Parenting is the toughest job in the world! And I don’t have to tell you that because you know this truth all too well. Therefore, we are all going to get much further when it comes to teaching our kids kindness and compassion if we can be compassionate and kind to one another. We need to build one another up instead of tearing each other down.

So can you make me a promise? The next time you see a mom or dad in the park who is scrolling on their phone while they seem to be barely watching their child on the swings, please don’t judge them. They might be doing work or Googling for something important. Or maybe they are enjoying their own downtime that they rarely get. You can agree that having ME time is needed!

Furthermore, if you are kind and show understanding to the parent scrolling on their phone and not pass any kind of judgment towards them, maybe they will not feel alone. Instead, they will feel like they can reach out when needed. Hopefully in turn, they will also be willing to help other moms or dads in need. Then the next thing you know, a village helping one another has been created and this is what we and our children need! Parents also need understanding and to hear encouraging words as well. This, in turn, will be passed to their children, and/or other parents in need of kindness & consideration.

We are parents dealing with our own unique struggles, and we all need support at times. If we receive the support we need then we will be able to give back to others because appreciation is what encourages us to give back. By the way, (and I’m sure you know this, but I’ll say it anyway) you are your kids’ role model! They are watching you carefully, and if you are being kind and helpful to others, they will become that way as well.

Along with teaching through example and talking to your child as the circumstances arise, reading to them can also help you reinforce this message of selflessness and compassion towards others. Here are some great books we found for you!

Have You Filled a Bucket Today?: A Guide to Daily Happiness For Kids by Carol McCloud beautifully illustrates the importance of kindness towards yourself and others and the happiness it brings. The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig shows how empathy and compassion from one child can transform an overlooked boy in a classroom of children, and How Kind by Mary Murphy shares just how contagious kindness can be! We love each of these books and think you will too!

Please enjoy this free Tot Tails coloring page to help share this message with your child.

Do you have any advice, words of encouragement, or examples of where you were able to teach your child to think beyond themselves? Sharing your personal stories can help others who may be experiencing the same issues (or triumphs). Let’s create the village!

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